Saturday, December 24, 2011

It’s beginning to look a lot like… Spring?

You can buy this sign here.
Tell me it isn't AWESOME!
On our little tiny lot, we have opossums, raccoons, but mostly, our backyard is a squirrel sanctuary.  We live in a semi-urban area and there are not a lot of forest areas for them to hang out.  Our yard has several big trees with a lot of places to hide stuff and at least a dozen squirrels have made it their home.  For the most part, they do their thing while we do our own.  On occasion, they’ll drop things on my head (I’m sure it’s an accident… I hope), they’ll tease Lola, the Chihuahua, while she barks like a psychotic, and I have gotten a face full of squirrel butt when one of the darlings misjudged the strength of a branch that was just above my head… but like I said, we live in semi-harmony most of the time.

The greater Chicagoland area is having unseasonably warm weather right now.  That seems to be confusing the local wildlife a bit.  Today I’ve already caught two squirrels sexing it up on our garage roof, but they’re also taking advantage of the nice weather to get more food.  This has not gone unnoticed by the neighborhood’s domesticated animal population, which are always on the lookout for scraps.

So I was out on our back porch watching the comings and goings of the critters that frequent our yard and all of the sudden every squirrel in the yard began rushing the large tree at the edge of our lot.  They were coming from everywhere… trees, fences, ground.  I suddenly thought I should be taking cover because it was clearly a signal of a cataclysmic event.  Then I heard the howl…

It seems that one of the neighbor’s cats had decided to climb a tree to look in their squirrel houses for food.  He hit the jackpot about 30 feet off the ground in the largest tree of the yard.  I’m not sure if he got anything out of their nest, but he was an unwelcome visitor.  They swarmed him like the miners from Galaxy Quest (P.S. If you haven’t seen this movie – WATCH IT).  They chased him down the tree with squeals and hissing.  He hopped the fence and ran to a garbage can to collect his kitty thoughts.  I’m hoping the lesson he learned is that YOU DON’T MESS WITH SQUIRRELS!

The lesson I learned is that, while they may be cute and fuzzy, they are mean little buggers that will turn on you like a bad tuna sandwich.  Consider me and the dogs warned.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Meet the Kids – Nefi

My dogs are a big part of my life.  I love them like most people love their children.  I realize that, no, they are not kids, but they are cared for like a member of the family.  There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them.  I say all this because a lot of posts are probably going to be about them.  So I figure I should introduce them as co-writers of this blog because some of the stuff they do I couldn’t dream up if I tried.

Before getting a dog, we carefully researched the best kind of dog for our lifestyle.  For example, one of our roommates owned a sweet-as-ever Pit Bull.  We loved her and would have loved to get one (actually we wanted to keep the dog and lose the roommate) but she was too much for me to handle on my own.  Since my husband frequently traveled for work, Pit Bulls – and any large dogs for that matter – were out of the question.  My husband was dead set against a terrier because of the “yappy” quality they have, so we looked into the toy group.  Not only were pugs adorable, but here was the description of the breed:
The Pug’s reason for living is to be near their people and to please them, and their sturdiness makes them a family favorite. They are comfortable in small apartments because they need minimal exercise, but the breed can adapt easily to all situations. The Pug sheds, but its short coat requires little grooming.
- American Kennel Club
So let’s get this straight:
  • Wants to please me – check
  • Good for apartment living – check
  • Minimal grooming – check
  • Minimal exercise – check
It’s like the pug was meant for lazy people, like me!  On top of that pugs hate extreme weather, so they tend not to dilly-dally when it’s hot outside or when it gets cold.  SOLD!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

When Old Becomes New Again

I’m not going to blog about how Hollywood doesn’t have any original ideas.  That’s been talked to death.  Besides, I think there is an ability to take an old show and reboot it.  For example, I really enjoyed the Get Smart movie.  They took a show based around the cold war, then adapted it into the 21st century and made it into a movie.  Let’s not forget The Rock was in it… niiiice.  The Batman movies have been brilliant, which says a lot coming from me since I’m a Superman girl.

The danger in rebooting a movie or television series grows with how kitschy the original was and how much it was loved.  It is really hard to do it right.  That brings me to two resuscitated shows I was excited to see: Beavis & Butthead and Fear Factor.

Beavis and Butthead

I was really looking forward to Beavis and Butthead, but Mike Judge has yet to live up to my expectations.  Okay, maybe Beavis and Butthead shouldn’t grow because their stupidity is what drives the show.  However, the REST of the characters have not only stayed the same, but regressed.  Would you REALLY send B&B to make copies when you KNOW they are going to take pictures of their butts?  Are there really that few people who live in Highland, TX that Burger World can’t find anyone else to work there?  And why would you schedule them together?  All the adults in the town are being outsmarted by the two biggest idiots that live there… and they KNOW IT!  Mike Judge needs to revisit the movie, where B&B’s good luck coupled with people who don’t know the pair misjudging their intelligence allowing them to escape and make their way across the country.

Friday, December 9, 2011

The Next Survivor - NOT!

My husband works an evening shift – 11:00AM to 8:00PM - so he isn’t up to date on all of the reality television that we used to watch together.  One of my favorites, Survivor, is quickly winding down to its final episodes and I was recapping all of the lack of strategy that was going to lead to the inevitable conclusion of this season – Benjamin "Coach" Wade being named the next sole survivor.

I could tell he was starting to glaze over about half way through my tirade.  He hasn’t watched any of this season so he has NO idea who I’m talking about other than the two returning contestants.  But I don’t care… my only interactions today were the dude at the gyro stand (I still am boycotting grocery shopping) and my three dogs and they don’t have very good conversational skills.  Note I didn’t say they don’t have ANY conversational skills… but that’s an entirely different blog post.

Lady, I don't give a crap about how
creepy Brandon is

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Subway, Tweens and Madness

If you read any of my other blogs, you know that:
  1. I've been REALLY lazy lately.
  2. I am a skin care "expert" that is currently on the American version of walkabout which consists of sitting on the couch without gainful employment.
  3. I enjoy cooking.
Even though I enjoy the culinary arts, I do frequent fast food establishments for quick meals.  More so lately because my Thanksgiving burned me out on cooking to a level that I haven’t even grocery shopped in 2 weeks.  I enjoy a deal too, so when Subway announced their December deals including a free 6” sub with the purchase of a drink and another sub (a total scam, by the way, but we’ll get to that later), I lit up with glee.  One day, in my desire to avoid cooking and the grocery store, I decided to use the coupons and get myself a sub.  Don’t think this was an easy decision. 
I have stuff for sandwiches at home…
But I have already eaten my homemade sandwiches several days this week…
But I should just save my money… 
But I REALLY don’t want to put the effort into making food and cleaning up…
As you can tell I was conflicted.