When a Wrong Turn Becomes Oh-So-Right

Today, while running errands and thinking about how much stuff I had to get done today (and still have half a list to get through at 8PM), I made a wrong turn.  It was one of those things where to turn around would have taken just as long, if not longer, as making a large circle to the destination, so I pressed on.

I am SO glad I did because had I gone the right way, I would have missed the events of 175^th street in Hammond, Indiana on this glorious morning/afternoon.  Had I not been driving, I would have rolled down my window and filmed this.  Alas, I was, and pulling over to film little children seemed… well creepy.

I first noticed the pair as I was several blocks away.  What caught my eye was the older child (approximately 6-7 years old as determined when I got up close) wildly pulling on a sign.  The road goes over a natural gas pipeline that is marked every 20 feet or so with a flexible sign anchored deep into the ground.  I don’t know if he was trying to get the sign out of the ground or determine if it was immovable, but whatever the reason, his next action was pure comedy gold.

Something tells me this is the last time I'll
be allowed to let my brother push me in the car.

Sitting about 5 feet away was his, what I assume, kid brother in a wagon.  As my car was approaching, I could see, older brother leaning over the wagon passionately pleading his case… to ram him in the wagon into and/or over the sign.  Baby brother was probably 2-3 years old and gleefully holding on to a pair of cymbals.

This is where I guessed the reason the pair were outside – other than it was a beautiful day.  I can picture a mother sitting in a large chair drinking a large glass of wine after having her nerves frayed by a toddler crashing cymbals all morning.

We have to encourage our kids, he said...
He'll love playing the drums, he said...
Look at these cute little cymbals, he said...

Back to the story…

Being both an older AND younger sister, I can safely guess the conversation went something like this:

Older Brother: “This will be so much fun.  Look, you’ll drive right over the sign.”

Younger Brother: “Push me! Push me!”

O.B.: “Okay, but you have to say you want to do it.”

The above statement is for his defense, in the event something goes awry and mom asks, “Why would you do something like that?”  He answers, “Because he wanted me to!”

Y.B.: “I’ll say it if I get to play these." {holds up cymbals}

O.B.: “Sure sure, so do you want me to do it?”

Y.B.: “Yes, I want you to push me.”

Now I'm going to measure this right here
and then you're going to put your hand right there.
Where's that saw?

I put in the part about the cymbals because I could see no other good reason why he decided to start playing them like Animal from the Muppets as his older brother began backing him up to get a running start.

Me dying with anticipation to see what happens next

Just as I approached the intersection/stop sign where this was all happening, older brother begins to run, pushing his younger sibling right at the sign.  I was fully expecting the sign to bend only slightly eventually stopping the wagon from forward motion sending the younger one either out of the wagon or smacking into the sign.  I did NOT anticipate what happened next…

He must have had enough speed going over it and the wagon must have been high enough that the sign bent down and allowed the wagon to drive over.  However, older brother did not anticipate that because he stopped before reaching the sign and gave the wagon a hefty push… which left him right in the path of the sign swinging back in the opposite direction.

He took it right to the top of the head.

And they think YOU'RE the smart one?

Screams were heard for blocks while toddler still in the wagon slowly coming to a stop was happily crashing the cymbals away while screaming, “Again!  Again!”

Out of respect for the screaming child, I pulled away so I could laugh.  And then I laughed so hard, I had to pull over and almost wet my pants.  I’ve been reliving that moment most of the day and each time the story just seems to get better.

And now you know why I’m not a parent.